We’re going to the wild, wild west.

15Jan12

Don’t get me wrong, I’m overly grateful that my high school counselor gave me the option for night school, so I wouldn’t drop out. But shit, being around these fucking losers every night for three hours is driving me a tad nutty. I almost dropped out because I have quite an anxiety issue, but I’m proud to say I’m one of the only kids enrolled in the program due to that reason. I’m not stupid, in any way, shape, or form. I’m not a drug addict… well anymore. I didn’t get kicked out for fighting, or misbehavior issues. (I’ve only had one detention in my entire high school career, thank you very much.) I’m actually pretty intelligent… okay really intelligent. I’ve had almost straight A’s throughout most of my life, and maintained an 85 GPA regardless of the fact that I was out of school more than actually in. Just being in a school of 2500 plus kids is not my idea of fun, like at all.

Being in a “school” of almost 30 kids is pretty fantastic in my book… Minus the fact that half of them come in drugged up and reek of bud everyday, don’t know how to properly form a sentence, constantly talk about beating the crap out of “bitches and hoes,” or talk about how fucked up they got over the weekend and who they “got it in” with. I find myself almost becoming…stupid. Ugh. It’s not even the “I have to dumb myself down to fit in” scenario. But the fact that I just soak in all of the ignorance and stupidity, I become a part of it. Mehr. You know how when you’re from a certain area, you tend to obtain that areas accent. And when you move to a new area, you then lose your original accent, and gain a new one. Well that kind of applies to my situation. I fucking speak like a pot-smoking, ghetto fabulous whore. AND I CANNOT STAND IT.

Another thing I miss about East, is learning. In night school, you teach yourself. The teacher hands you work, and you sit for three hours with a ten-minute break after every hour, and do mediocre, unchallenging work. I loved normal school. I loved learning, and reading, and listening to lectures, just absorbing a teachers’ words to my maximum brain capacity. I don’t learn shit now. And I cannot wait to get into college, and actually start being educated once again. The only thing I actually enjoy is reading, because I’m choosing to read the schools curriculum books.

Just a few more months… I have to keep reminding myself that. I can’t wait to turn another page in my life, and move on from here. These kids on Long Island are not really friends anymore. All they have in common with each other is drugs. Blah. I’ve been trying to get out of here since I was 16, and my time is finally coming. Patience is truly a virtue, and fuck, I’ve been patient long enough. I deserve to be happy, and leaving all of this behind, possibly never looking back, is what will make me happy.

I can almost taste the California air. The heat, the blaring sun, palm trees, laid-back way of life. New York’s too high strung for me man. Cannot wait to PeAcE oUt!!!!!!!!!!

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